Welcome Harrison!

Baby boy Thao arrived 10/15/2015 weighing in at 9 lbs 1 oz! Yes he was a big boy - even the doctors had to do a double take. This little man is more of a handful than Lillian but I'm so grateful for him. He saved me. Saved me from becoming depressed - he was my distraction from all the craziness that happen while mom was sick and as she passed. We buried mom on Monday 10/12 and the whole funeral weekend I was dilated to 5 and could have went into labor at any second. I almost thought I was going to on Sunday but I kept telling baby to stay in and come out big and healthy. Well, I got what I asked for!

He came out big and healthy and with a head full of hair! I love my Harrison Chakong Thao!

We also took family photos a month later since Lillian and I got sick right after having Harrison. We will be using these for our holiday cards this year. 

I am so blessed to be the mother of these two beautiful angels. 

Always in our hearts. I love you mom.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=9rzi61iv9vA

Mom's funeral

Tomorrow 10/9 will mark the first day of mom's funeral. Monday will be the burial. I am still pregnant and due literally any day. I am torn because I'm still not ready to say goodbye to mom but I'm also so excited to welcome my baby boy. This weekend is going to be tough for my entire family and I hope I can make it through, but if baby Harrison decides to come and distract me from sadness I will gladly oblige. I've done all I can at this point with prepping for mom's funeral. I have no regrets and I know she's proud of me. 

Let's get this weekend started. 

Mom.

The past month has been a blur, literally. We found out my mom has metastatic cholangiocarinoma stage 4. The docs are giving us 3-6 months, but warned us to prepare for the shorter end of the spectrum. They told us to live day by day and week to week until the time comes. 

My baby boy is due to arrive in mid-October. All I want is a safe delivery and for my mom to be there to hold her grandson. These layers of emotions are hard to take in. 

The sad reality is that we don't have much longer with mom. I only hope that she's proud of the woman I've become and will look over our family when her time comes. Seeing her in pain is the hardest thing to witness. Seeing her get frustrated at herself for not being able to feed herself or walk by herself is even harder. 

Mom, just know that we all love you. You will never be replaced. Until the time comes, I promise to do whatever I can to put a smile on your face. 

Love,

Your daughter